Animate Attraction

We know what we are, but not what we may be. - William Shakespeare

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So it's been quite some time since my last blog, for that, I owe you, the reader, an apology.

I found life to be more then peculiar when it threw me this week's curve ball. Usually it's easier for me to interpret reality's personal jabs, though, when I came about this most recent set of hills, I didn't know what the fuck I was to think.

Societal standards blow, to put it instinctively. Trying to be part of a system which doesn't accept you is hard. Though, the problem is, no matter who you are, you're not going to be accepted by every type of society. It's a no-matter-what situation. You can't prevent free-will. People will hate, whether the people they are hating, like it or not. It's not that I have issues taking criticism, or arguing my morals, it's just that I get tired of doing both.

Arguing morals can be a great thing to do for both learning to defend your points, and to learn how to accept when you're wrong. Though, morals are everywhere. Would you date a 15 year old, if you were 19 years old? Apparently this is a bigger deal to some then I, personally, find.

So, I guess I finally get down to the nitty-gritty, and reasoning behind this post. I found myself excruciatingly attracted to a 15 year old just this last Saturday. We met at a hockey game, and at the time, I honestly was acting more like her age, then she was. I didn't act immature, just childish, in the sense that I was in super-crush-mode. I didn't even realize how much of a crush I had on this girl until someone recently mentioned it over on a forum I frequent. I was just dumbfounded when I realized how big the crush was. She's 4 years younger then me, and still developing, and all that jazz. I shouldn't tempt myself, and risk a series of various penalties, ranging from prison time, to court fines, to possibly even sodomy (Please, no.)

In the end, I really, really do like this girl. I haven't stopped caring for her. But I can't get into the relationship just yet. Hopefully she can still think of me, the way I think she does now, about 18 months from now.